If it’s a match made in heaven, the rest is history. Oh dear! Other marriages that could be annulled were those that were never valid in the first place. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. Here's What Victorian Women Wore To Wear Tennis. Sometimes they are the only indication that a couple legally married. In today’s world a man simply asks out a woman (or if she’s braver than I’ll ever be, she asks him out). To learn more, please visit www.MimiMatthews.com. This, I am sure, is most unnatural. Always find Emma,s articles on regency life very interesting to read ,hope to read more. Thank you, Kay! In that time period, women were considered property…first to their fathers/male guardians until they married, and they then became the property of their husbands. The underlying principle, which informed these codes, was that a young person displayed her or his availability and attractions to appropriate members of the opposite sex effectively, yet without deception, vulgarity or exploitation. It’s hard to imagine that these rules were the norm in the lives of women back then! Instead, he argues that it is more likely that the unfortunate young bride “curbs all her natural inclinations” and: “...is contented with the performance of her husband (how weak soever it may be, and cold and frigid) and does preserve her chastity so pure and immaculate as not to let one wandering thought corrupt it...”. In addition, in the 18th and 19th centuries marriage laws were passed to limit population growth in the lower classes. As the author relates: “Then she became impatient for her husband’s death, and now thought every day an age to live with him, and therefore sought opportunity to cut off that thread of life which she was of opinion nature lengthened out too long...”. The American Divorce Colonies of the 1800’s By Shannon Quinn. I’d already decided that I didn’t care for the process. There were a few things that I was unaware of so I found it very interesting. This database consists of facts extracted from obituaries found on Newspapers.com™ dating from the early 1800’s to current. I stated in my comment that I married without my parents consent further, I was under the age of majority at the time which was age 21. The books are fabulous to read, but they are our fantasies, not our realities. Definitely! According to the author, an age gap this large can bring nothing but misery. At least you don’t have to deal with that! Updates: This Was The Tinder Of The 1800s They do say reality is stranger than fiction sometimes! Marriage contacts were very popular and mandatory, playing a very important part in arranging the distribution of wealth and property, but also in solidifying what would happen to the wife and offspring should something befall the husband. {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}, A Short Introduction to Regency Era Courtship and Marriage. Here can be no increase, unless of gold, which oftentimes the old bag (for who can call her better, that marries a young boy to satisfy her lecherous itch, when she is just tumbling into the grave,) conveys away, before marriage, to her own relations, and leaves the expectant cox comb nothing but repentance for his portion.”. I agree with you. If one wanted to meet with another, they had to be introduced by a mutual friend, more often than not at soirees and balls, which were the Regency Era equivalents of your neighborhood’s wine bar or club. The existence of Facebook and Instagram and all those social media platforms has made meeting people a lot easier. Thus, each day, they wish for each other’s death, which, if it come not quickly, they often help to hasten.”. More from BUST. Courtship and marriage sure were different in the days of the Regency. Please log in again. Sometimes, people change as they grow older. The whole concept of having ones reputation ruined by malicious gossip not based on any facts would have been the hardest to tolerate. Just imagine any parent trying to force these types of restrictions on a modern-day, educated, independent woman! Guy asks girl out. . By PT Staff published May 1, 2005 - last reviewed on June 9, 2016 But even when the young wife’s conduct is beyond reproach, the author asserts that the elderly husband will still grow suspicious. we would end up in a Mental Hospital, they would think we had lost our minds. During the Victorian Era (1837-1901), romantic love became viewed as the primary requirement for marriage and courting became even more formal — almost an art form among the upper classes.An interested gentleman could not simply walk up to a young lady and begin a conversation. In most cases, he writes, the wife will allow him nothing more than “pocket expenses,” but for that small sum, the young husband is “bound to do the basest drudgery.” In the rare event the wife is generous with her money, the author warns: “But if he meet with money (which was the only motive of the match, her gold being the greatest cordial at the wedding feast,) he may likely squander it profusely away in rioting amongst his whores, hoping, ere long, his antiquated wife will take a voyage to another world, and leave him to his liberty...”. In the modern-day United States, there is a statistic that half of marriages end in divorce. Carriage rides and walks around the local park were common and served a dual purpose: the gentleman and lady got to spend time together and get to know each other, but it was also a statement to their peers and society in general that they were courting each other. My life, my choice! Marriages were not jut the joining of a man and a woman but a joining of families, businesses, jobs, and wealth. Of course, the same rules did not apply to women and things were a lot harder for them. In many people’s minds, the Regency Era, with its Dukes and Barons and Ladies seems like the era when fairy tales were true. I would have been ruined for sure! No modern woman would put up with the restrictions. I agree with you! With the help of her servants, the young woman strangled her husband in his bed. I just wish some of your contemporaries knew as much as you…I get very frustrated at hacks who just pretend to place a story in that era with a modicum of knowledge of it…or none! As he explains: “This makes the woman (who still wants a husband, for the old miser is scarce the shadow of one) either to wish, or, may be, to contrive his death, to whom her parents thus, against her will, have yoked her; or else, to satisfy her natural inclinations, she throws herself into the arms of unlawful love: which might both have been prevented, had the greedy inconsiderate parents provided her with a suitable match.”. Top photo of The Arranged Marriage by Vasili Pukirev, 1861. Should the lady accept, the gentleman then had to ask her father or head of the family for her hand, which was an equally nerve-wrecking process, sometimes even more so than the courting itself, considering noble families had pretty high standards and it was within a father’s rights to refuse to a proposal for his daughter’s hand.

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